People purchase all types of Calendars.  Cats, Computers, you name it, people are buying it and putting it up on their wall.  So, we decided to take it upon ourselves to create 12 Calendars no one would EVER purchase.

 

 

 

11. Jessica Alba's Body On Carrot Top's Face Calendar

 

 

 

 

 

Remember when kids used to be cool? My grandfather started smoking when he was nine years old. Sure, he died of lung cancer 65 years later, but he would not have changed a thing. These days kids aren't allowed to be irresponsible because their parents and the Nanny State are too busy cramming tofu and wheatgrass down their throat and throwing bullies in jail. Well, we here at HolyTaco miss the days of kids doing things their not supposed to do. So here's our tip-of-the-cap to the good old days of irresponsible children.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where you've seen her: Chyler Leigh  was in "Not Another Teen Movie" with (probably) one of the Wayans, and she's now a full-fledged member of the "Grey's  Anatomy" cast. Which means shewill probably not be appearing in anything with the Wayans anytime soon.

 

MILFStatus: She has a son and a daughter with a guy who apparently has a tattoo of an NHL team on his arm.

 

 

Fat people would never have sex if it weren't for wacky fetishes like these.

 

Fox allows "magic negro" to scroll at bottom of feed - Watch more Free Videos

 

For more funny pictures check out our brand new photo section!

 

Busted Coverage's Ode To 2008 chicks (busted coverage)

 

5 Homeless guys who accomplished amazing things (cracked)

 

9 foolproof hangover cures (coedmagazine)

 

Best boobs of 2008 (drunkenstepfather)

 

Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures kind of disturbing (hollywoodtuna)

 

Big fight in department store (totallycrap)

 

Biggest Tech flops of '08 (asylum)

 

Kung Fu Star wars fighting (manofest)

We went 0-8 in our predictions last year. But that didn't stop us from looking into our crystal ball to see who was most likely to kick the bucket in 2009.

 

 

Mr. Dick is known for getting totally wasted and yelling at people and pulling his wang out and doing tons of drugs.

 

Likely Cause of Death:
The man loves drugs, and if the rumors about his sexuality are to be believed, he loves wangs, too. So I’m guessing he’s going to accidentally snort a wang one day and die of whatever happens to you when you snort a wang.

 

Cop mistakes penis for gun - Watch more Free Videos

Reader Erin L. sent this video in to us.  I really love how in this video, even though a penis is grabbed and fondled, both parties act as if they're talking about a wallet.  If I grabbed and fondled a penis, my next words would either be "ew ew ew, god, so sorry, super sorry, shit, sorry."  or "Hmmm.  Looks like I'm going to have to have a conversation with my parents."

 

Best bikini shots of 2008 (drunkenstepfather)

Monica Bellucci is attractive (uncoached)

10 Celebs that look like hookers (drw)

5 Things You Didn't Know About Women (askmen)

Boobs, swear words and Stath (filmdrunk)

This guy smashes a stack of bricks without touching them (ejb)

Kathy Griffin doesn't "knock the dicks out of your mouth" (theblemish)

15 photos of hot girls (doubleviking)

Chloe Sevigny in a bikini (gossip)

Krystal Forscutt sluts it up (hornyoyster)

A song about women (comedy.com)

Daria Sagalova in a sexy Santa suit (cameltap)

Kitty Lea is naked (nuts)

The Best Falls of 2008 (nextround)

Maria Louiza Vourou has quite the body (donchavez)

10 deadly animal vs. animal showdowns (thedailylowdown)

May as well start 'em young (tastybooze)

 

 

 

Where You've Seen Her:  Daisa is a Brazilian Model that's only done a couple photo shoots, so probably nowhere.  If you have seen her, that most likely means you're from Brazil, in which case, the dude who sits behind me would like to know if it's easy for red haired white dudes to get laid there. 

 

Pointless Quote: I couldn't find one, but on a random note, if you work for Kettle Brand Potato chips, can you please send me some?  They're delicious.